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It’s that time of year when all eyes & ears turn toward the pampered, spoiled elite of Hollywood. We will be treated to a dazzling array of designer dresses that cost more than I make in a year and a never ending stream of soundbytes that will be played ad nauseum over the next two months. Yes, ladies & gents, it’s Oscar time. This Sunday, we will witness the 82nd Annual Academy Awards and be righteously indignant that our favourite film did NOT win the best picture category despite being overwhelmingly the best film of the year. This year, I think that the indignation will be more rife & relevant than in previous years, because this year is the year they increased the field from a manageable five nominees to a mind-numbing ten. In addition to that unprecedented change, they have modified the voting rules. No longer will the voting Academy members cast a single ballot for Best Picture. Nope. Now, they will rank each picture in order best to worst. The ballots will then be judged on a sliding, preferential scale which could easily mean that a movie with no clear majority could take away the Best Picture statuette. This will surely set indignant tongues wagging througout the blogosphere & likely send Perez Hilton into apoplexy. You can read all about the new set of rules at The Wrap because I’m not going to take the time to put to paper the ponderous system they’ve set in place when The Wrap has done such an admirable job of deciphering and translating the Byzantine voting structure. Instead, I will lay out, in order from Worst to Best the ten Best Picture Nominees for these 82nd Academy Awards.

10. An Education: I don’t think this picture even deserves to be in this list. Any movie that doesn’t show at a theatre within 100 miles of my house, can’t be a contender for Best Picture.

9. The Blind Side: I’m a Sandra Bullock fan. I really am. But, really? Do we need a weepy, sports sob-story as a Best Picture winner? Especially since it did such an incredibly poor job of actually, you know, telling the true story?

8. Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire: Didn’t see it. Didn’t want to see it. Shouldn’t win.

7. A Serious Man: Really? Are you serious? Why is this movie in this list?

6. Up in the Air: I liked this movie. I think both of the actresses in the film were outstanding and George Clooney did a fine job (but, I would imagine it’s not so much of a stretch for him to play a womanizing hard-ass). The girls deserve their nominations for their roles. The movie is most definitely not an Oscar contender.

5. Up: Rave reviews all over the place. But, there’s only been one animated movie ever to take Best Picture, and let’s be frank, this is not Beauty & the Beast.

4. The Hurt Locker: Never came to my hood. I wanted to see it. I’ve heard excellent things about it.

3. Avatar: The most expensive B-movie ever made. Weak, predictable, rehashed plot with some seriously kick-ass special effects. It should win in the special effects category, or possibly in the “Most Overdone Theme” category, but Best Picture? Nah. Not really.

2. Inglourious Basterds: Seriously. This was the 2nd best movie I saw all year and probably sits well inside my top 10 of all time. Even with a mis-spelled title, this movie has some serious chops. Great direction, superb acting (if Christopher Waltz doesn’t take Best Supporting Actor, I’m giving up on the Academy completely), brilliant plot & message and an overall enjoyably kick-ass piece of celluloid. Definitely deserves to be in the list and I wouldn’t be too upset if it wins.

However.

This last movie was hand’s down the best movie I saw all year and is my 2nd favourite movie of all time (sitting behind Danerous Liaisons). This is an incredible movie from start to finish and well deserves to be in the list and take it all home.
1. District 9

There you have it.
Let the indignation begin…now.

~PGK

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